The constellation work is a method of approaching collective, individual or firm issues, which is becoming more and more widespread in the last few decades. And that not only in the therapy field but also extensively in business and our day-day life. It’s a very clean way of bringing the root cause of the issues into the light and as such giving us the opportunity to see the issues from a different perspective – and approach them accordingly.
The main intent of my work is to recognize the individual human beings and the gifts they have hidden inside. To recognize their own essence, the fundamental core of our being. What am I trying to show people is what gifts they have hidden inside. And sometimes what aspects of their being does not really serve them. And point to this, maybe to help them realize who we really are one day.
People experiencing Life Integration Process are actually given a chance to see what is hidden deep in the unconscious and thus what still forms our beliefs, desires, wishes and needs. Consequently, it is also what waits for the integration and what might one day enable us to radiate our true essence.
Usually, I work with the Life Integration Process (LIP) method which evolved from the Family Constellations. The core idea behind the classical Family Constellation work, from my point of view, is that every single individual has its own place in the tribe, family hierarchy, society or a workgroup – with the basic rules of the tribe and the life itself in place. And that these “basic rules” also apply to any group or system hierarchy. We have to respect and accept these rules – because we are a part of society. We are a part of the human race and its hierarchy, even if sometimes we refuse this belonging in our blindness. And so we will always be limited physically, by our body for example (regardless if we want or don’t want to be). We can never deny bonding to our original family and the human race itself.
But in order to follow the calling of life, one day we have to leave old beliefs which come from the collective, through our genetics, where they belong to – in the past. If we want to live our own life, at a certain time we have to go our own way.
The main obstacle to understanding ourselves
One may ask how constellations should help knowing ourselves. To me, it seems that the main obstacle to understanding our problems and therefore ourselves is that we don’t see ourselves (from the outside). Logically it’s not possible because we cannot divide ourselves and watch from a distance. And exactly such distance is important.
If we are honest with ourselves we have to admit that whenever we have a “problem” it is not staying apart from us. And if we don’t see ourselves it means we cannot see the problem. Simply said – we are the problem and we can’t see that. We are identified with the problem which is, therefore, unable to be solved.
A lot of us perceive our own life experience as a huge discomfort. At the deepest level, we all suffer. But not everybody realizes our suffering. We feel pain (either physical, mental or emotional) and we cannot handle our own life. Because we don’t have a distance – from our emotions, our thoughts, our body sensations. We do not allow ourselves to feel our emotions, to feel our physical body pains or observe our thoughts – though they are all just an effect. We do not feel our emotions, we can’t observe the thoughts, we are them. There is a lack of distance. No felt-perception is present yet.
That’s why it is so important to see the “problem” we are facing. We need to see ourselves, to have the opportunity of a wider perspective. A different point of view which will eventually bring some awareness into our life experience. Deep down we are those “who are watching”. But we cannot see ourselves at the same time. We cannot see and sense our own form, our own body – through which we are manifesting. There is no or little sense of reality. Visualizing, without felt-perception, does not help. It only keeps us in the mental realm of our minds. And that is limited.
The purpose of Constellations and its significance within our growth
To me, the constellation work is a way which allows us to uncover and (firsthand) perceive the truth. It gives us the opportunity to see ourselves from a different perspective. To see ourselves, our behaviour – “from the outside” and to understand the reaction or behaviour of others.
In that very moment, it gives us the possibility of a sudden flash of awareness and the chance to overlook our own “dream” – our own illusion in which we all live.
It gives us the possibility to see the truth which normally stays hidden to us. It stays hidden because our whole perspective, our own view of the reality is being created by something that is not ours. Our perception of reality is distorted by the unintegrated conditioning which came from our externals (from the history of our family and all the human race; from what we were taught by our parents, our teachers, our friends, clerics and from what we were instilled for years by media, society and external world). It’s simply distorted by the past. But all the conditioning is just a part of becoming a human being, of taking a part in the human race. It is not something our parents or anybody else deliberately did to us or placed upon us.
However, everything that comes from the unintegrated conditioning and without our awareness creates our inner discomfort – is unstable and within a queue for integration. It cannot give us any positive meaning from the long-term point of view. It actually creates our suffering. But on the other hand, it is an untouched fuel reservoir for authentic growth.