When I accessed the resonance of our unconscious definition of Love

There is a beautiful song from Cece Winans called the “Alabaster box” I heard somebody singing a few years ago. The lyrics are rather symbolic than tangible, but perhaps not so much for the one involved deeply enough in the arcane symbolism of the alchemists and the ancient art of transmutation.

For the rests of us I could say that there are times in our lives when we have no other choice but to face our deepest fears directly and when we are ready to step on such a journey, life will lead us.

At a certain moment of my life, I was required to feel the resonance of the causal point of all our suffering and the consequent manifestation of our mental, emotional and physical discomfort stemming from such resonance. Our unconscious definition of what love is.

I don’t even remember what amount of mental images surfaced during that experience and it’s not important at all. They are just an effect of what’s going on much deeper, hidden in the unconscious. It seems that what’s really important is the physical resonances coming from the vibrational aspect of ours – and especially its results from the time we were small children, completely unable to handle them due to the impact of collective and family conditioning. Which therefore left a huge amount of unintegrated energetical imprints in our body.

When I felt the resonance and underlying emotional signatures of this imprint, even after all I went through with my body in years, I was both perplexed and amazed. My body was heavily trembling. I felt a huge pressure and a thorny pain around the abdomen and the whole rib cage. My neck was mechanically blocked and I felt the right side of it as half-paralyzed, numb. I couldn’t felt my lips and a jaw-bone as they were in some tingling sensation the same as all the right side of my head. My eyes, nose, sinuses and the right parietal lobe.

Suddenly I saw the deep causality of all my life struggles, failures, relationships and professional crashes. I saw myself running away into jungles and mountains, away from intimate relationships and acute work crisis. Running away from people, running away from women whenever I was emotionally harmed or unconsciously threatened.

I realized it was a runaway back into the safety of Mother’s embrace. And it wasn’t an easy revelation to me. I saw a small, deeply wounded and scared child shivering and then slowly recovering in her warmth, soft and loving lapful.

“The Mother. Black, Divine mother of the depths. The holder of all life and begetter of all in the Universe. The maternal aspect of the matter, the Dame of all elements, the parent of aeons and the Queen of ancestors’ souls”.

And then, after a while, following the experience a release slowly began to approach my body.

I experienced, felt and profoundly realized how deeply is the basic imprint and wound carried within rooted, which is unconsciously an undetachable part of us from long before we have been even born into the world. That no belief could ever change this imprint or its consequences was just purely apparent. Simultaneously accompanied by a clear insight of how far away from reality, perceptually shattered by all similar imprints we actually live our everyday life. And I understood my troubles of approaching people, especially women and the inability to stay calm, to stay at the place when the pressure got high. It was really divine, with nothing ever replaceable revelation.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) there is no other way of how to access this resonance, this base and primal imprint than to access and “open” the collective unconscious. Which is really nothing else than exposing yourself to the hands of Life. Completely, unconditionally, in utter trust. Holding nothing back. And then to go and follow the inner guidance far beyond. For that is a place or space where it lies.

Considering the fact, that this particular resonance is underlying my (and our) life experience for every single day since I was born, and without any knowledge or awareness it is triggering the unconscious behaviour in the world – seems really strange to me and gave me a whole bunch of weird feelings to digest. Well, little did I know in those moments that it’s only a beginning. A taste of what’s coming. Nowadays, a few years passed by and I’m still integrating. Just the drama disappeared, slowly. Life goes on. And Cece Winans still sings “The room grew still,…”

Maybe that’s the way of how to forgive others and above all ourselves. And how to be able to love others and ourselves without conditions. Regardless of all our and their acts and all we have done to others and consequently to ourselves.

Hopefully, the direct outcome of such revelation will inevitably be the acknowledgement of the only right way of acting when it happens the next time. In whatever field of life. For as my dear fellow Wilfried Nelles says “Life does not have a reverse gear…“.

Let the soft and delicate touch of Grace and Forgiveness bless us all…